The triunity of all things.
Off-White Doctrine 
One must be: |
1.1) solid enough to stay together.
1.2) liquid enough to suffuse one’s surroundings.
1.3) Gaseous enough to have a peculiar odor. |
One must never use the unholy contraction “Mayo” in place of the true word, Mayonnaise; except, in extreme circumstances, whilst one is possessed by the Spirit of Mayonnaise may one proceed with using the small word.
Goal
To transcend the segregation within and between matter (solid, liquid, gas), time (past, present, future) and thought (true, false, maybe) and achieve perfect triunity.
Event to Wait for
The second helping.
Conversion
Email your soul to spiritofmayonnaise@friedmayo.com.